Failed Ford Turing Test, Bad Robot, No Oilcan

Just kick him in his robot codpiece!

So I went onto the Ford section of to ask a question. A pop-up appeared, and it said Pearl Wilson was typing. She asked me about my issue with the vehicle, but by the third question I knew it was either a scam or a Turing test written by a kangaroo jumping randomly on a keyboard.

See the results for yourself. This is the second set of questions I answered.


Pearl Wilson, Ford Mechanic’s Assistant
Welcome! What’s going on with your Ford?

My hovercraft is filled with eels. <–  Tip of the hat to Benny Hill fans.

Pearl Wilson, Ford Mechanic’s Assistant
What is the model/year of your Ford?

1916 Model A  <–  Model A’s started in 1927.

Pearl Wilson, Ford Mechanic’s Assistant
What year is your Ford?

1935 <–  Must have been a time warp between questions.

Pearl Wilson, Ford Mechanic’s Assistant
Are you fixing your vehicle yourself? What have you tried so far?

I filled it with concrete and channeled a volcano through the exhaust manifold <–  This may have voided any warranty.

Pearl Wilson, Nuclear Mechanic’s Assistant
How many miles are on the car? How has your mileage been lately?

12459895615698894541. I get infinite miles per thimbleful of plutonium <–  Luckily I visited Chernobyl and chipped off a few pounds of melted plutonium. I also like the extra arms that have sprouted on my back.

Pearl Wilson, Not-a-Mechanic’s Assistant
Anything else you want the mechanic to know before I connect you?

Yes, why does cheese not evolve into a car so I can eat while driving? <– Admit it, this question has been bugging you for years.

Pearl Wilson, Robotron’s Mechanical Assistant
OK. Got it. I’m sending you to a secure page on JustAnswer so you can place the $5 fully-refundable deposit now. While you’re filling out that form, I’ll tell the Ford Mechanic about your situation and then connect you two.

I didn’t want to spend five bucks on an equally bad Turing test failure named Slim who wants to help me fix my 1916/1935 Model A that runs on plutonium.

You know, there has to be a short story in there somewhere…
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