The Wizard of Oz – After sustaining a head injury, a woman goes on a psychopathic battle to the death for the last pair of ugly red shoes.

Yertle the Turtle by Dr. Seuss – A megalomaniac reptile seeks to recreate the original big bang theory of turtles all the way down.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – A mutant, a monster, a pickaxe-hurling maniac, and a dental torturer with rusty pliers band together and descend on a quiet North Pole town during the snowstorm of the century.

The Sound of Music – An evil witch crafts insidious, mind-numbing music to torture and confuse the audience and the occasional Nazi as she transports her collection of stolen children to a mountain hideout.

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss – An anthropomorphic fish gets his jollies by using an hallucinogenic compound to simulate destroying the home of a brother and sister on numerous occasions, only to hide and blame it on the cat when the parents return.

Watership Down – A plague of rodents spread out from a secret lair to spread the influence of their sparkle-eared deity’s cult-like religion.

The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss – A crazed capitalist forces a race of non-conformist goths to battle each other over horrific body modifications until they run out of resources.

Old Yeller – A young man takes his first step on his journey to becoming a psychopathic murderer by executing his angry best friend.

Here Come the Teletubbies – An alien race mesmerizes and programs the audience to become passive consumers under orders from their baby Sun God.

Barney’s Top 20 Countdown – A hallucinogenic purple reptile leads other drug-inspired creatures to playing mind-altering music to torture the purchasers of this evil DVD. See also: Necronomicon.